All else being equal, people prefer to work with, help, and follow people they like.
Aside from all the other positives, that’s enough of a reason for you to try improving your likeability. Here are some relevant factors to work on:
Avoid Mood Swings
Among the most difficult people to like are those who blow hot and cold, happy and sad, positive and negative, warm and cold from one day to the next. People don’t know what to expect from their next encounter, and they prefer to avoid such people whenever they can.
On the other hand, if you maintain a warm, friendly, positive attitude through thick and thin, day after day, you’ll make it easier for people to want to know you, spend time with you, and like you.
People who follow the rules of polite society, and who consistently demonstrate honesty and integrity, tend to inspire respect, fair treatment, and a friendly attitude from others.
Of course, everyone talks like they’re honest and ethical, but in most ethical situations talk by itself doesn’t count for much. These are areas where behavior counts much more heavily. This is why, when a person habitually cuts corners, other people become wary, and often feel willing to see the same thing happen to him.
It’s hard to like someone who is distant, not easily approached. The more you set yourself up so people can readily gain access to you – even for a minute – the more likeable you will become.
This doesn’t mean you have to listen to interminable conversations or allow interruptions at the drop of a hat. It’s OK to insist on appointments and strictly limit how much time you’re going to spend with a person. But when your attitude is open and approachable, you’ll gain points on the likeability scale.
One of the most important ways to increase your likeability is to show each individual that he or she is important to you. To do this:
- Listen carefully,
- Give your full attention,
- Don’t let interruptions – except for the very important ones – cut short your conversation,
- Behave and speak with sincerity,
- Make an effort to remember each person’s name and details.
When you show people you like and respect them, they will generally respond in kind.
There’s truth in the words “Cast your bread upon the waters….” It’s a call to generosity.
This makes sense because giving freely nearly always pays off in a bountiful return. It’s even more true, however, because treating people with a broad spectrum of generosity – of spirit, of friendship, or helpfulness – is a great way to encourage people to think well of you.
It’s easy to talk about superficial matters, and it rarely leads to a meaningful relationship.
However, when you tell a person what you’re really thinking and feeling about the matter at hand, you gain the stature of a more serious, solid individual. And when you ask them for their thoughts and feelings, the relationship between you begins to take on more meaning and substance. This is a strategy that generally grows friendships.
Nobody likes a braggart. Even if you can deliver on everything you brag about, it’s an attitude that puts most people off.
You’ll become more likeable when you say little or nothing about your talents, skills, and accomplishments. For the most part, they can and will speak for themselves. Let them.
Grousing, complaining, criticizing, and doom-saying will not earn you extra friendship. Rather, most people are attracted to positive attitudes, optimism, and a glass-half-full attitude.
When you cultivate and exhibit an upbeat approach to your work and your life, other people will tend to be more interested in spending time with you, getting on your good side, and working their way into your inner circle.
Generally speaking, these factors help form the basis of likeability. The more you exhibit them, the more often people will perceive you as likeable.
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